Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize