Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
