I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
