I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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