My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
