so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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