Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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