yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
