come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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