Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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