I didn't shave. On purpose
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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