I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
