I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Be still, my beating vagina.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
