omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need a burrito and a hug.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
