i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
