watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
