i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
