3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
