I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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