oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
