She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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