The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize