Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
