ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
