I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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