Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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