I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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