operation harelip BJ is a go
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
