My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
