I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
