So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.