Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN

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  (513): direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN http://tfl.nu/vd6u
  Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (3573)
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  (310): View more from California

  Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

  (310): View more from California

  Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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  (310): Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her. (310): Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse. http://tfl.nu/0qfy
  Replies (18) Good night (4694) Bad night (1790)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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  (617): it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast" http://tfl.nu/sn1x
  Replies (11) Good night (2074) Bad night (3207)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?

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  (574): all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him? http://tfl.nu/x011
  Replies (8) Good night (943) Bad night (3723)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.

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  (203): I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me. http://tfl.nu/grro
  Replies (11) Good night (5570) Bad night (1052)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

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  (778): you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that http://tfl.nu/wgi4
  Replies (6) Good night (1101) Bad night (2951)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

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  (773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit. http://tfl.nu/2ngx
  Replies (9) Good night (4230) Bad night (1169)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.

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  (937): When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary. http://tfl.nu/v8si
  Replies (2) Good night (1325) Bad night (894)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?

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  (205): Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine? http://tfl.nu/l4l5
  Replies (17) Good night (1490) Bad night (865)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.

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  (713): You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin. http://tfl.nu/p64y
  Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (716)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.

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  (859): You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy. http://tfl.nu/r8h1
  Replies (10) Good night (742) Bad night (1096)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.

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  (616): We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that. http://tfl.nu/hngl
  Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (331)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling

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  (607): The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling http://tfl.nu/cdto
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (313)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"

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  (647): You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly" http://tfl.nu/saiq
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (347)

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