do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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