Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?