Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
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i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.