so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?