this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.