Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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