I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf