There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.