Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.

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(607): View more from New York

he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him

(313): View more from Michigan

at least he gets points for a creative booty call

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.

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(435): View more from Utah

When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.

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(541): View more from Oregon

the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.

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