We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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