if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
