I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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