This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize