Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
