I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
