You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
