How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
