Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
