At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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