We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would fuck him just for his dog
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
