what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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