He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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