arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
