My hair reeks of homosexuality.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
false alarm. still invincible.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
