i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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