Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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