rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
