i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
