Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
