I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Semen is not good for contacts.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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