you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have fence marks all over my body
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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