Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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