Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
