Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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