when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
