You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
