i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM VODKA MAN
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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