i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
