He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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