clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
