Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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