we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
