dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
