dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Are my feet made of real feet?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
