I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she smelled like a LAN party
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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