Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So vagazzling was a success
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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