Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
