lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
