Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
BRING THE BAGELS
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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