Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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